The Gayest Situation

Picture this: I'm on the bus this morning and it is unusually packed. I squeeze in and put my bag down between my legs so that others will have more room and I don't end up continually smacking someone in the face with it (which has happened to me on several occasions). Everything was reasonably comfortable until a few stops later, when the bus really filled up. I squeezed in as much as I could in order to give others some room. This was probably my first bad decision.

As the bus starts rolling, I notice that some guy is behind me and his bag (or back?) is resting and pushing on my back, which is slightly annoying. So, I do as I always do, I kind of lean back and give the guy a nudge so he gets the fuckin message. After a little while, the guy keeps leaning against my back each time the bus moves, so I'm getting really pissed off. Eventually, a few more people come in, and we're even more jammed. I then notice that the guy's ass is basically rubbing up against mine, and I'm starting to feel extremely uncomfortable. I try and move away but I'm basically locked in. To make matters worse, each time there's a slight movement, our asses somehow pound against each other, and I thought I was going to turn around and cut this fucker's throat. So it went on like this for about 10 minutes until I got off, and I had all these painful images of double-sided dildos in my head. I couldn't help but think that this was the gayest situation I had ever been in.