Time Changes

It's quite humorous how some people take the whole daylight savings time change to the next level and get totally thrown off guard bit it. As if a change of one hour required drastic changes to your schedule. There is one persistent problem with time changes which is also present with time zone changes.

For example, last night at 11:15, my mom walks into my room and proclaims "It's 12:15....you should get to bed!!". No, it's 11:15, I told her. She kept babbling on about how we were getting an extra hour today but you'd be screwed tomorrow or whatever and that this required a drastic change. It's an hour, not your right leg!

Giga pets killed real pets

I remember, as I was growing up, that one recurring theme of several kid shows was the episode where the kid wanted a pet and it didn't work out with the parents. There would basically be some scenario where a kid from a family had parents who didn't allow animals into the house so the kids around the neighborhood would care for the pet or the kid would simply hide the pet into the house.

So where's this idea today? It's been transformed. Now it's a fight for a cellphone, a computer or the internet at home. Where when I was a kid, I remembered our fascination for pets that people had in their house. A tarantula, holly shit! Fred's got a fucking snake man! The whole idea feels lost to me, it feels replaced by impersonal objects.

I personally find it a great lost. Kids can learn a hell of a lot with a pet around the house!

Walking Conventions pt.2

There's something odd about the way we walk. I always feel like we've somehow decided on a standarized type of walking. Have you also noticed the different styles of walking and charicatured walks? How fucking amazing is the simple action of walking on a movement level? Canadian artist Ryan Larkin put his name in the history books when he made a short animated film entitled 'En marchant' in 1969. The short depicted people walking normally with extreme ressemblance to the actual walk, and people walking in the most bizard way possible. The animation and ideas are simply brilliantly animated.

I've been pulling a sort of prank or experience lately. Every once in a while, while I'm walking with a friend, I tend to all the sudden walk in a different way. Most of the people I've walked with are puzzled and somewhat embarassed by this. I all the sudden slouch, my legs become rubber, the top of my body doesn't seem to react normally to the action of watlking, etc. Some people find it funny, but it seems like we've seriously defined a look to proper and popular walking while at the same time are completely wierded out when we see someone break the rules completely.

Sometimes, and most of the times, we're freaking amused!

While we're on urinals

Since the subject has been braught up, I'd like to point out a few other problems I have with urinals:

- The 'soup-bowl' versions of them that end up sticking so far out of the wall make me extremely uncomfortable. These fucking things feel like you've got to piss far away from any cover and somehow I feel extremely exposed to everyone.

- Whenever a friend takes a leak next to me, I'm confused as to whether I should have a conversation or not. It always ends up being this extremely awkward silence and occasional look at the other in the face. Seems like a very bad time to have a convo, but worst is I wonder if certain subjects become more appropriate then others.

- I'm now too tall for the long versions of the urinals. The ones that go pretty high up and expand all the way to the floor. I'm officially too tall for those things. I have to somehow bend my knees to be able to properly piss in them.

- I remember as a kid getting some kind of cover, like seperations between urinals. Somehow, that idea was forgotten over time and we no longer have that luxury.

- Certain bathrooms leave a lot to be desired. Ever been stuck in a bathroom where the urinals feel like they were added on later and now the bathroom's all crammed and when you take a piss it reflects off the fucking mirror over the sink? Which, of course, happens to be viewable from the outside. Seems to me like a camera right over the fucking urinal would be less of a hasle then having an audience.

- I somehow feel very compelled to read adds when I piss. So whenever I'm given little adds over the urinals, I feel very happy.

Elementary School

I think I'd like to go back to elementary school. I'd like to be an invisible 3rd party observer on my own behavior and on interactions between my old friends and classmates. I'd like to see with an adult mind exactly how it was back then and what I didn't realize was going on at the time.

Also, I'd like to meet up with everyone I knew from elementary school. I've actually forgotten most people's names, but I'm curious to know what everyone is up to these days and what has happened in their lives since we last crossed paths some 8+ years ago. I'm really interested in seeing how I looked at people back then and how I might look on the same situation today. Also, what my expectations and thoughts about people were and how they ended up. So many interesting things which are just impossible to study.

I actually don't think there are enough studies done of school children in their everyday interactions. It's in the schoolyard that much of our intellectual and social developpment happens and it would be interesting to have more data in this sense.

Urinals and Pubes

Taking a piss in a urinal at school today, I decided I should write about this pet peeve I've had for a while (so what else is new?). How the hell do pubes end up on urinals? I mean, I go to piss, I look down, the dude hadn't flushed so there was yellow piss in there, and then there's like 2-3 long, nasty, black, curly pubes lying on the rim. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN? Do you shed pubes as you piss or something? I think Harry Manback was at my school or something. It's fucking disgusting. If you have such a large bush of pubes that you somehow periodically lose them are are on your way to pubic baldness, just trim or shave them off already. Leaving 'lil curlies around for everyone else to stare at as they're pissing in a puddle of someone else's piss really isn't appealing.

Happiness According To Aristotle

I really want to share with everyone Aristotle's philosophy on happiness. I think it relates somewhat to what Eric (the other one!) wrote in his last post regarding social vs artistic sides and intellectual evolution.

Aristotle essentially says that happiness involves developing reason through interaction with others. Now, by interaction, it is not implied that simply talking about your weekend or what you saw on TV last night will turn you into a philosopher-king. Let me explain.

In greek, the word for happiness is eudaimonia, which almost literally means "energy at work". In the context that this is defined in Politics, we can therefore paint a picture of what Aristotle means in terms of happiness. It is an activity, a being (male and citizen, in the case of Athens, of course). What is important to note is that happiness is not a state. It is not really an emotion. Rather, it is the exertion of the mind in pursuit of virtue and excellence. Therefore, in order to achieve happiness, you must work to achieve the potential of your mind. Aristotle suggests that this can be done through politics and that this would make us more rational beings, but I believe the philosophy could be attached to anything in life. Finally, Aristotle adds that we cannot develop this unless our relationships are conducive (and thus further the interests of the intellectual man).

Much of this complicates itself once you begin looking at virtue itself, as well as reason (ie. as humans, speech refers us to other rational beings, with whom we must deliberate in the pursuit of rational ends and means). Man truly is, by nature, a political animal. Some food for thought...

Blame and Political Correctness

From what I gather, there was a decent snowstorm in the New England states and southern Quebec a few days ago. I caught a glimpse of CNN and their coverage of the story essentially came down to this:

"There was a big fucking storm, here are some shots of Jim reporting next to some random semi-snowy road in New Hampshire."

Then, of course, was the comment which really puzzled me, and it got me thinking how many times stories are spun in this euphemistic manner. The announcer said: "The snow is being blamed for one death." Apparently some lady swerved off the road because of the conditions and died. There is something wrong with this logic here. Why would you blame the snow when the lady is clearly at fault for shitty driving skills, underestimating her abilities and those of her vehicle, and not understanding the conditions. I think she deserved what she got because she can't drive for shit in snow. Don't blame it on the fuckin storm. That's kind of like blaming a mountain because some guy walked off a cliff. He was the dumbass, it's not the mountain's fault.

Who the fuck are you yelling at?

I was puzzled to hear my sister shouting and screaming at the television set last night as she was watching a hockey game. Sitting alone in the family room, everyone else being upstairs, she obviously couldn't help but burst out in emotion at the sportsmanship and competitiveness of the game...or something. Why the fuck would anyone decide to yell at a television set. To clarify, I think this only happens with sports (although my sister has exhibited strange television behavior before). Do we feel that by shouting, we are somehow encouraging the team? They can't fucking hear you! Have our brains becomed so zapped that we simply cannot differentiate television from actually being at a hockey game? Are we trying to attract attention to ourselves?

The real question is, why does nobody yell at the set during E.R.? "Oh God, I thought he almost lost that one!", should be common place considering how wonderfully suspenseful the show is (I'm guessing, I've never watched this crap, but there has to be a logical reason why people watch...).

This whole sports phenomena really puzzles me. Why do people feel attached to a specific sports team. Generally, they are attached to the team from their home town. Why is this? Do you know any of the members on the team? Do ANY of them come from the town for which they play? No. Why, then, would you parade around as if "your" team was the best, and try and impress people with your knowledge of the team. This is entertainment, not politics. Win or lose, it really is all about entertainment. If your team wins 10-0 and you proclaim that this was a "great game", it really wasn't. A great game is one which is won in the last few minutes of a tie game. One in which both teams were equally competitive. I don't understand why some completely inferior team getting rolled over is all about sportsmanship.

Back to the main point, I ask that you never yell at a fucking television set again. You are not emotionally involved in the moving pictures in front of you. Your life is not resting on that hockey game. You have not bet a million dollars on the outcome. Therefore, shut the fuck up!

My theory of evolution

Here's food for thought:

As kids, what seriously captures our attention are things. Objects, matter, these things that surround us and how they work tend to fascinate us. We also discover early on something abstract called art. This is almost a way of getting in touch with our subconscience. Art is a gateway to many things, to portray our adaptation of the outside world. Our adaptation of these objects we hold so deer to us and find so interesting.

As you grow older, you realize that objects are no longer the most interesting thing out there. You've learned enough abstract and enough object functions to see that the most perplexe thing in life are people. So you abandon the ideas of the past and move on to the world. Your new hobby is now sociolizing! You enjoy people, you want to know who people are. You now try to see things as logic instead of abstract! You get to know people, and get in touch with this new '6th sense' entitled emotions. What is now connecting you to your subconscience isn't art, but these emotions that everyone talks about.

Before hand, it was pretty basic: Happy, Sad, fearful, safe. Now you realize that emotions are almost an art, a sense of there own. You can now experience the world through this. Emotions take place of the senses. People are so intriguing, but wait! After a while, you realize people are deceptive and try to rationalize the reasons behind this. Your brain says 'no way it's my fault' so you begin to see people as functions. Only functions. People are now reduced to what-they-say and what-they-do. They no longer are personalities that are so complex and unique. They only have one purpose.

Here's where the issue comes in; when you do finally get past teenage years, you have to find balance anew. Objects are now important again, understanding their functions and their part in the greater world, but wait, people still linger around! You begin to wonder if mind and matter aren't suppose to be combinated? If you're dumb, you'll stop here with the conclusion that mind has certain functions mixed with matter. This is the road to depression and opression.

The right road is to get connected once more with your subconscience. As a matter of fact, it's at this point and time that the subconscience and need for creativity becomes bigger! Art should take a new turn, all the forms of art that you weren't interest in before hand can be abandoned. You now have full controll of this. If you are to balance your life, you are to find balance between mind and matter, and see both as complicated systems which can be explained through your subconscious mind into magnificent objects or expressions.

People who don't find balance are often met with mental problems and social issues, and now that they see people as a function, they begin to wonder: Am I a function? And since they are now passive beings, the answer isn't important, and the question is even less, just as long as you fullfill your function.

Given the choice, what do you dream of?

Thanks for the inspiration, Mr. Firth. I was just pondering the whole joke regarding his dream with the pestering tape man. If you don't understand, you're an uncultured fuck and it doesn't matter, you can't change. What I'm wondering, though, is given the choice, what do you dream of?

I think I would first have to get mad stoned, rub myself with a stick of butter, and then ponder this for a little while. Though since I don't intend on doing that, here are some thoughts.

-Sea urchins: Lots of wonderful thoughts there.
-Physically handicapped people with thumb-stump arms, like the fucker in one of my politics classes. I saw him cross his arms....I mean stumps...the other day. Quite convincing. Encore!
-Angry ticks flying out of my nipples
-Surfing on blinding yellow laser lights
-Druken angry Irish guys dancing a jig to some Gentle Giant with me
-The little drummer kid from Die Blechtrommel
-Midgets....never enough midgets
-The end of the world, featuring huge, quiet, abandonned cities free for me to roam
-A hidden psychedelic world inside taps (especially rusty ones!)
-I would be on stage with master Collins playing all the cult hits
-Unknown 5th member of The Beatles

I thought this might produce something far more surrealistic, but I guess I need to be less sober to do that. Oy!

Sex ed sucks...and doesn't deepthroat

Here's my main concern about sex education classes:

I find that the approach especially to the anatomy is very cold. The classes are basically there to tell people the latin names of body parts and their function. Any other information is gained through experimenting yourselves. Yet, we constantly blast kids with messages that sex is wrong, dangerous and 'serious business'. That's completely ridiculous.
In bullet point format now:
- Sex ed. gives girls no insight on their own bodies. Some women can spend their lifetimes trying to understand truely their body, and sex ed. can definetly only make them more confused about it.
- Our bodies are felt with our 5 senses, so why wouldn't we teach using these wonderous tools of ours? I think we could understand the body better by explaining the feel of it then the fucking horrible cut-in-half anatomy chart does.
- Also, our senses are two-fold, to make us enjoy the things that surround us and to warn us of imminent danger. In this case, they can be quite usefull, both usage here.
- How can we possibly consider sex a more adult and mature subject when we can't even properly and comfortably educate others on it?

On a side note, I wrote an essay on this last night which I had every intention of publishing. I ended up pressing the wrong key and lost my work. So I re-wrote it but in an abreviated format, when I clicked the 'publish' button, the server crashed and my work was lost once more. So I apologize for the lack of continuity and detailed explanations. It seems that when I have to re-communicate three times the same subject, I tend to not feel so enthusiastic about it.

What kind of utilitarianist are you?

Here's a little anecdote I'd like to share:
At the last Saint-Jean, I was in Vaudreuil watching the fireworks and getting to know the people a bit. As it turns out, the fireworks were right over the water on the Vaudreuil side. Although fireworks have always puzzled me in a way, what seriously puzzled me was the fact that straight across the river was the Veteran's Hospital. Of course, being this amazingly heart warming person, I pointed out that all the veterans must be ducking under their beds across the river thinking its World War II all over again. I was met with a lost of frustration and disapproval from the people around me.

So, now that I've gotten into the study of ethics and refined my knowledge of the different theories, one is easily applicable here; Utilitarianism. This theory deals with the whole 'for the majority' rule. This theory is then broken down into two categories: Act utilitarianism, and rule utilitarianism. Give a simple example:
Six people are in the hospital waiting for a specifically different organ, a new patient gets to the hospital and might die. Someone applying the rule of act ut. Would be in favor of killing the new patient that walks in to get his organs. He figures, 1 death, 6 survives, fair trade. On the other hand, applying rule ut. would mean looking at the rule and would simply say that it is unethical to kill a man no matter what.

So, in the case of the fireworks, seeing it from an act ut.'s point of view I realized that the veterans might be shitting their pants. Yet, these fuckers who apply rule ut. say it is unethical to think in such a disrespectful way of veterans. They would be willing to block out the stereotype because of a rule. Yet, the veteran's problem still isn't gone.

Last time I look out for a minority.

Morning Radio Shows

Fuck I hate these assholes who are hired to be radio hosts on "prestigious" morning shows. For years and years it seems like these hosts are the most highly idolized on the radio and a "good" morning show is key to a station's success. This is how people start their day, though their alarm clocks and during the morning commute, so you want your station to offer a friendly voice. These positions are the most desired in the radio business, and when you get your own morning show, you know you've made it.

However, I can not stand these shows. The hosts are usually nothing more than arrogant pricks who have absolutely no merits in society other than this insignificant claim to fame of having their voice heard. The majority of them on popular radio have no class, are uninteresting, unfunny, and are extremely obnoxious.

When I wake up in the morning to the radio, I want to hear some good tunes that will start my day off right and in a good mood. It seems like whenever the radio goes off in the morning, it's about 80%+ talking, 10% commercials, and 10% music. I actually end up falling asleep again most of the time because I just cannot stand these people. I tried just waking up to the normal alarm but that's not any better. I can't believe these people get paid pretty good salaries to come in each morning and just babble on like a bunch of rowdy drunks about whatever they want. Why do we let them get away with this?

My point is, has anyone actually researched this phenomena at all? Do radio stations actually believe we want to listen to your average joe schmuck making fart jokes, laughing at them very loudly and uncontrollably, being very arrogant, and telling us about all the wonderful things going on in his life. I don't fucking want to hear it when I wake up. In fact, I don't ever give a damn about these people and their ridiculous conversations. I find it hard to believe that anybody would.

I wonder what types of psychological aspects are involved in these shows. For example, do commuters find it comforting to listen to average people have mind-numbingly dumb conversations while they're gridlocked? Is it somewhat comforting to feel like these people are "friends" and that you identify with them? Do people enjoy the laid back approach?

I don't really have any insights or answers to any of these questions at the moment. However, I say: Down with the talk, up with the rock! (No pun intended....ho ho...I'm so fucking clever. I intended it and now I will draw attention to the rhyme by telling you it was just pure coincidence, making the situation all that more awkward and comedic.)

More Drug Stuff

There was another new study published today which showed that, contrary to previous beliefs that marijuana may actually be more of a carcinogen than tobacco, it is in fact considerably less. The study demonstrated that nicotine actually amplifies many of the carcinogenic chemicals caused by the combustion process, wheras THC actually reduces these. So, even though there are more tars in marijuana smoke, it's actually not as harmful in the long run. Of course, there has always been the factor that those who smoke weed do so far less frequently than tobacco users.

I guess this sort of brings me up to what I really would like to discuss, a little ramble on legalization. I was reading this article today about a government committee that has recommended the legalization of all drugs in Canada. I'm talking not only weed, but cocaine, heroin, and everything in between. The thinking is that the criminal code has not been able to curb the use of these drugs.

In regards to heroin, the study actually argued that it wasn't as harmful as it has been thought. Most of the problems associated with heroin are because of problems with the purity of the drug, used needles, and the provenance through black markets. It is said that if the government were to legalize, produce, and legislate the sale of hard drugs, there would actually be less deaths because of it. Consumption will not increase if drugs were legalized. Government would also encourage that heroin be administed in methods other than injecting it (inhalation) which are considered to be much safer. Studies in Australia and the Netherlands have proven that this is not the case in regards to marijuana. In the case of heroin, cocaine, whatever, the question to ask yourself is: Are you actually more willing to try one of those drugs just because they're legal? I certainly would not be. If a person is really interested in trying them out currently, they can seek out dealers without a problem.

The main argument used to support this is that tobacco use has declined greatly in recent years not through legislation and criminalization of a harmful substance which causes deaths, but rather by education people about the problems of using this. The exact same logic applies to other drugs. Let's legalize them and try and help people instead of locking them up. We should study the effects of these drugs in known purities and what social factors cause people to use them. Let's start with weed, because this is the only one I personally care about, the one which is increasingly the most socially accepted, and then we can move from there.

Oh, Please!

That's such a clever fucking title. The point is, though, that the use of the word "please" has indeed become a strange thing. I think it has somehow drifted from the original intent of the word. If you are acting like a fucking cunt, just because you throw in a please for good measure doesn't make you less of one. Case in point: My sister gets home and immediately wants me out of her room. Without even a hello:

"Could you get the hell out now please?"

To which I figure I should have answered:

"Please! Stop acting like a fucking cunt!" or
"Will you please allow me to swallow your soul, bitch?"

This is really retarded and it has to stop. If you're acting like a fucking cunt, don't try and be nice about it.

High Heels

I obviously don't get this because I'm a dumb male, but I can't understand the concept of high heels. I had to walk about 10 blocks today with my mom. I'm used to walking all over the place and I walk several kilometers each day to and from school. So I'm walking at my usual pace (which is, admittedly, fast), and my mom is having a tough time keeping up. No problem. I slow down so that she's not "running", as she puts it. It ends up that I started walking a bit faster naturally, and I didn't notice because my mom was keeping up. But after a few minutes she starts being somewhat out of breath. This seemed really funny to me and is a reflection on the fact that we are completely dependent on our cars but we walk very little in a day. When we do have to walk at a brisk pace out of some kind of purpose, most people can't even handle this.

Now, my mom raises the issue of high heels. We were going out for only this purpose, and she knew we would be walking about 8+ blocks to get there. She, of course, decides to wear high heels. On the way back, she couldn't stop complaining about how much they were hurting her and she couldn't keep up with my partially because of these shoes. Now, I wonder, why the fuck would you want to wear something so uncomfortable when walking even a short distance on pavement? I told her that it was completely illogical that she would wear such shoes if they were uncomfortable, to which she replied "everything is illogical to you, Eric". Well, to each his own.

Umbrellas

You know, the concept of an umbrella seems quite smart and realistic. However, in practice, an unbrella is anything but that. Generally, they seem to protect you for a good amount of time, but they are ultimately a failed device. First of all, it appears we failed to take wind into account when designing these things. When it rains, it's also damn windy. Wind and umbrellas are not a winning combination. You end up fighting the damn thing more than anything, and there's the ever-feared umbrella reveral where a gust will swoop under and twist it inside out, making you look like a complete moron as you try to fix it and calmly recover.

Also, umbrellas appear to be designed to break. It seems like one out of two times I use an umbrella there is a problem of it with some kind. Either it won't open properly, one of the metal rods is busted, etc.

There is also the problem of dumb umbrella users. I don't know how many times in the past few weeks I've seen (mostly women, for some reason), walking along a sidewalk with the umbrella pointing forward in an attempt to push through the wind. Of course, they can't see where the fuck they're going, and generally I have to dodge these assholes in order to not get impaled.

It seems that the question of storage was never addressed, either. When I get to my destination (which is not home, most of the time), what the fuck am I to do with a wet umbrella? I had the misfortune of putting it in my school bag this week, thinking it wasn't that wet. Half my books in there ended up getting soaked. It also seems far too inconvenient to try and shake the thing off when you get into dry territory. It's just an extra thing to carry around and far too much of an inconvenience.

Finally, walking for more than 15 minutes with an umbrella is really fucking annoying. I generally keep trying to switch arms in order to give the other one a break from trying to hold the damn thing down because of the wind. If this is the best and most efficient solution we have against rain, we're really a failed society.

The trouble with censoring

While speaking with a friend today, I started to slowly put my finger on the origins of depression in an urban setting. The problem can be divided into several categories, one being the people that surround a person, two can be the messages that are sent to the person and three the inevitable 'giving-in' phase.

The first part is by far the most important. I've noticed that people who often have issues with depression aren't faced with enough challenging activities and the lack of time to let them pursue such activities gets them down. In essence, the people that surround a depressed individual end up taking up time and effort from such a person leaving them without a single option as to how to go on with motivating and interesting activities. Good examples are doctrines such as schools and work. Imagine if the people that surround you weren't progressive and encouraging in the least? If they weren't at all interested in your progress and their own?

The second part is a bit more subtle. It deals with all that is sent as far as ideas are concerned to an individual. All mediums here are important, if a person is constantly listening to emo music, odds are very good they won't feel good about themselves. Also, the censoring factor comes in. If they are bombarded with constant negative messages (i.e. Don't do this, don't do that, don't talk about this, don't talk about that, etc...) then they are more likely not going to pursue they're ideas because some aspects of them fit in the 'don't' category. In other words, they'll be concerned more about what not to talk about rather then what should be talked about. So then no challenging or motivating activities will take place.

Third, the dangerous part is when a person who's got the smarts and curiosity end up giving in to what surrounds them. Simply, this is chaos theory, point 1 and 2 above accumulate. They can't perform activities that are interesting because their is no time, it can be considered unethical to do that as a normal individual and the people that surround the person aren't at all encouraging.

After re-analyzing the people that surround me and the things that surround I can safely say that it's no surprise that so many people face depression. When no one can possibly even answer the questions "What hobbies do you have?" or "What do you find interesting?", I believe they're is a problem. It means that nothing was set up for an individual to seek out themselves and find out who they are.

An interesting thing my sociology teacher mentioned today is the concept of 'role'. When a person can assume the position of an outsider and evaluate themselves in the third person through another's eyes, that is considered to be 'role'. How dangerous is this? Extremely! It forces people to be unmotivated, passive and uninterested by what surrounds them simply because somebody might not agree with them, and facing that is embarrassing.

So, I suggest the heavy use of marijuana. Get together with your closest friends, get some THC in there and start talking about everything you love. Get it all out in the open. You'll feel good, you'll feel relieved, and most of all, you'll feel closer to the people that you thought were your friends. Re-evaluate them! It's your freaking life! Do you want to be stuck with friends that aren't actual people?

Group Work

Oohhhhhhh how I hate group work. It's alright when you're with some friends or something, but it can be complete hell when you're randomly assigned with people you don't know. Case in point, I have this oral presentation to do in Political Communication and was assigned into a group. This is the course in which there is the highest concentration of hotties. If most girls in pure and applied sciences are ethnic, hairy, and ugly, then most girls in political science have penises. The difference here is that it's actually a communications course so you get all these artsy-types who look really good.

Of course, the prospects were great, but I end up in the worst possible group. Here is a breakdown of my three group members.

1. A 50-something franco-ontarien who works for Health Canada. She has these strange pauses when you ask her a question, as if she's taking a long time to compute a possible answer. She seems quite eager to do the work and research involved. However, she has absolutely no idea how to coordinate work or what is being asked of her. Her position at Health Canada, I have found out from her e-mail signature, is Chief, which is a level 10 position earning above $80,000, if I'm not mistaken. I don't know who the fuck is promiting this bitch, but she's absolutely useless and cannot properly communicate. I talk down to her and I'm about 30 years younger. She speaks the typical franco-ontarien french and her English has a slightly annoying accent.

2. Some really weird 40-ish woman who doesn't speak English or French (so it seems), yet she is somehow trying to get a university degree as a mature student. Speaks with an undecypherable accent, does not understand what is asked of her, and seemingly has never worked in a group in her life. Completely worthless douchebag who will surely fuck up the little that is demanded of her in the group.

3. One guy who is my age but looks like a deformed fetus. He speaks French pretty well but English only so-so. I am ashamed to stand next to this guy because it looks like I hang out with retards or something. I may as well become best friends with that fat fuck in my other class who has a stump (plus a thumb...) for an arm. This guy seems like a decent worker and slightly more accustomed to working in a group, but his lack of social skills is really horrible.

We had a group meeting today. I had prepared about 5 minutes for the whole thing and had the best insight out of the bunch. The others argued for a whole hour about ridiculous details which were not being understood. The good news is that, while standing next to this group of quads, I will surely look absolutely amazing and get a great grade, no matter what I say. I figure I will also look extremely attractive next to these people. Group work sucks.

Quebec Music

I juxtaposed two songs for the first time today and was somewhat shocked at the striking resemblances between the two. Listen to Harmonium - Pour Un Instant and The Beatles - Here Comes The Sun. The Harmonium song, arguably one of the biggest and well-known Quebec-produced hits, is a blatant ripoff of The Beatles' song. Some observations, with the help of Francis (kthx):

- The rhythm is essentially the same
- Main chords are a D and A7 in both songs
- Here Comes The Sun sounds slightly brighter because there's a capo on the 7th fret

I don't know, but listening to these two songs one after the other is just kind of sad. The biggest Quebecois song of that era is basically a repackaged British song by the most well-known band of all time. I'd really be interested in hearing someone argue in favour of Québécois music. Nothing good ever came out of it, and it appears that they're not as fucking clever as some people think. I guess this is why, other than a few artists, anglophone bands remain popular even today with the baby boomers. Just look at an "old person's" vinyl or cd collection and I guarantee you will find a large majority of acts (and the person's favourite ones) that are anglophone.

Little addition

It's been mentionned before, but hasn't been stressed enough, that when it comes to communicating in the form of a conversation its always better when both parties build off each other. I cannot stress this enough. I find that the relations that seriously don't cut it for me is when the conversation is broken down into a listener and a speaker.

The listener's job is basically to simply nodd and agree and interject every once in a while. Often, these interjections are simple questions or clarifications. The listener basically doesn't learn anything but what the other person is saying, beyond this, the listener will have done nothing but waste his time and heard a nifty little story.

The speaker's job is to speak and try to be clear. The problem is since, often times he/she won't want to go off on a tangent and might have even rehearsed this in their heads forgetting and ommiting the details, only one person talks no progression is made. Once the talker is finished saying what he/she has to say, nothing else needs to be said.

This is a formula that doesn't work. It doesn't make for any interesting relations since the two aren't united and don't want to be united. It basically makes one look selfish, and the other look uninterested.

Communication Breakdown

The leaves are changing and so are the familiar faces around the school. This is exactly how my mom would start an article if she had a column in a newspaper. It's the worst fucking thing I've ever head in my life. Now, I've known that my mom never really had a knack for writing or anything of the sort, but this is absolutely horrible. Whenever, in the past, I had an essay to write, she would occasionally try and give me suggestions on how to proceed. Usually, they amounted to a ridiculous line that nobody would take seriously and nobody with half a brain would actually write.

You know, I just think that some people understand writing and some people don't. Some people just don't understand the basis of writing a successful essay, article, report, story, whatever. The majority don't understand basic syntax to begin with, and no matter how many times you show it to them, they still can't fully grasp it.

Communication is the most important tool that we have. Most people don't understand to what extent both communication through language but also body language is important. My point is that, if you can't write properly, how do you manage to properly convey your thoughts when you're speaking? The fact is, most people simply cannot. If you're talking to someone else who is a native English speaker, for example, you can generally understand the point they are trying to make because you are able to mentally form an image of the concept they are conveying. However, if we were unable to do that, it would be absolutely baffling the communication breakdown that would occur in most conversations. Here are some observations and problems that I have noted in the realm of communcation:

- As I stated above, those who cannot properly communicate verbally. They often stumble as they are talking and try and save themselves by repeating what they just have said in about 6 different ways, hoping you will have grasped the concept.

- Scholars and academics who insist on writing in the most ridiculously pompous language imaginable. I don't have a problem reading this stuff because I understand it. However, the point of communication is to get a message across as simply and efficiently as possible. Just because you have used a thesaurus on every fucking word doesn't make your arguments any better. You can write properly and formally without sounding like a complete arrogant dick.

- Two average people cannot hold a conversation between themselves. They are generally in their own bubble, talking about two seemingly unrelated things, and only adding comments of agreement to the other person's thoughts. Disagreements and conversation topics where you might have to think a bit are avoided.

I had some more really fucking clever points (of course), but I got distracted as I was writing this and lost the train of thought. Oh well.

Creative Writing

It seems to me that one of the major problems with the television format is the lack of originality and the lingering conservatism of the medium. While many of the images themselves become more and more provocative with time, it seems like there is a reluctance to change anything about many television conventions. I came to thinking about this while watching some re-runs of Seinfeld, easily the best sitcom of all time. At the same time, however, the point is that it's not *really* a sitcom. Episodes like the infamous Chinese restaurant show just how far they were willing to push the limits and ultimately successful in doing.

There are no shows these days which actually push the limits in terms of creative writing. I do believe that there is a demand for this type of material, but it's either not delivered because it's too much of a gamble or because the networks think people like home renovation shows instead. Family Guy is a show worthy of note simply because it pushes the limits in terms of controversial issues, but it would never have aired had Seinfeld not paved the way for it.

The reason I believe there is a demand for creative writing on television is because of the huge success of HBO in recent years and their exclusive shows. The sales of these series on DVD have been absolutely phenomenal. HBO is the only network that is willing to risk anything in order to actually put out some creative, original, and innovative material. Seinfeld is also remembered after all these years and still has a huge syndication run. People remember it because it was different and pushed the limits. I watched about 5 minutes of Desperate Housewives tonight and wanted to gouge my eyes out and then shoot myself. THIS is hit television? People are fixated by this pure regurgitated drivel? Get a fucking life. Go outside, read a book, anything other than that. It's just amazing to me how people can schedule their lives around something like television. As if it were not enough that school and work enforce a strict 9-5 schedule on us, but we've got to be home at 8 to watch Teri Hatcher and friends act like a fucking cunt.

We are the machines

Welcome to your artificial world, we promote the use of all kinds of artificial stimuli. As a matter of fact, we discourage everyone from actually giving in to what they truely are. In our metropolis, you can become dependent of the system, where you will have no choice but to follow orders. We will ask a few things from you though:
1. Dress in a comformed way so that the visuals deal with the norm.
2. Put on parfume so that you don't smell normal.
3. Speak of subjects that we chose so that you don't sound abnormal from the rest of the sytem.
4. Specific fibers and other such parts of your body shall be trimmed and/or cut.
5. Last, but not least, do not forget that our food doesn't taste like the actual thing here.
Sure, you might say that anything artificial came from the earth, so it actually is natural. For people like you, we have what we call our 'natural products' section. In this section, you can find all your 'natural products' in very 'un-natural containers', in serious 'un-natural rows' in our very 'un-natural stores'. Hell, become a consumer whore if you'd like no matter what your ideas are.

We are well on our way to attain our goal, that of artifical intelligence. We will build machines that will be smarter and better then us. Then, to balance things out, we'll refuse to give them what we call 'emotions' or 'souls', that way we, the inferior kind, will be able to hold our heads up and look down upon our superior creation. I guess we'll know how God feels then.

Marijuana is good for you

It's quite interesting to see how the evidence is slowly starting to grow in support of marijuana as a product which can actually contribute positive things to people's lifestyles and even improve intellect as opposed to destroying it, contrary to what the traditional lazy stoner persona would want you to believe.

On the cover of the Globe and Mail today was this story on a new research study that was conducted on the benefits of THC and cannabinoids. We know that the body naturally produces equivalent substances to cannabinoids which trigger specific receptors in the brain, but we're not entirely sure what their role is. Certainly we know that some of them stimulate appetite and other desires. This study proves something new and very interesting. Contrary to what was thought before, it appears that these cannabinoids (and THC in particular, the one which gets you "stoned") actually help in the creation of brain cells as opposed to their destruction, specifically in the area of the brain that deals with learning and memory.

Here is another new study which was recently published. At Carleton university, they've just completed a long-term study of the affects of marijuana use on the brain and the changes in IQ that it might cause. They regularily tested a group of individuals through the course of their life up until now (they are between 17-20 years old). Some were non-users, others were light smokers (less than 5 joints per week), some were high users (5+ joints) and some were previous users who had now quit.

The most interesting finding is as follows. The group who were light users saw the largest increase in their IQ through the course of their life. Here are the results in order.

1. Light users
2. Previous users
3. Non-users
4. Heavy users (there was a slight decline over the years)

Now, we have to consider a certain factor. It is a known fact that THC also temporarily inhibits certain memory functions while under the influence. These effects are, however, permanent. While all the subjects were tested in the morning, the researchers concluded that the heavy users were adversely affected by the fact that they still had a considerable amount of THC in their bodies (even though they hadn't smoked in the few hours before the test). They concluded based on their research that there are no negative long-term memory problems associated with marijuana.

I looked at the raw data on the different groups studied in this research, and while not explicitly reported, there are several other findings which I can conclude based on this data.

1. The parents of light users are also the ones who are the best educated, and have the highest family income of the groups. There is a $10,000 income gap over the next closest group, in comparison. The majority of their parents have a university/college education.

2. A much higher percentage of the so-called heavy users are male. They also smoke more cigarettes than any of the other groups.

3. The light smoker group is not only the one with the highest increase in IQ, but also with the highest overall average IQ.

There are some very interesting things in these new studies. I think it's important to continue researching in this area as we still know very little about concrete long term effects of this drug. It's already being used to curb nausea, decrease pain in people suffering from cancer, epilepsy, and other health issues, etc.

I think many benefits have already been proven, but many others have not. Personally, I have seen many benefits which I cannot begin to fully vocalize. I think weed can help on many mental levels. It seems to unlock certain features of the brain, in some way. For example, abstract concepts appear to be easier to understand and relate to when you've smoked weed before in a responsible and productive manner. Our science isn't advanced enough to understand the actual physics behind something like this, but my hopes are that one day it can be quantitized. Maybe it's just me, though. I'd actually like to hear other people's comments on the benefits (or downsides) that weed has had on them and their general thoughts on social/psychological aspects of the drug.

Parents and their children

I've been overhearing and observing this popular belief that adults who have children should be protected at all cost. Murderers can't possibly do the full jail time, they have kids! What's with this belief?

I only seem to be noticing retarted parents, and retarted children. If it were up to me, I would more then happily slowly torture most parents. I believe I can even list the different types in order I would like to torture most:
In first place, it's a close tie between religious parents and soccer parents.
In second place, unattentive parents.
In third, neglective parents.

I absolutely do not see how these adults can possibly justify their entire life through their kids. As if they're the most important thing in the world now that they have a saliving stump at home, let these fuckers wait in line like everyone else. I don't believe they deserve more protection. And I certainly don't see why we should priviledge of see them as important people in society. Most of these fuckers fail to properly raise their kids, so I don't understand what makes them so important. Hell, I can screw up raising kids too. How about we give these parents the chair, and leave their kids with me for a while? I could do the same job.

That's not to say this applies to all parents, but again, the good ones are rare and they have to suffer having their kids meddle around with badly raised ones, making their job harder. I guess this is linked to the weak individuals that are unable to live by themselves so they end up coupling with somebody.

The problem with education is religious

Reading the previous post about higher education made me a bit more aware of how education worked. Given that, my sociology teacher said something very interesting today. While he was handing out the exams, he asked about the marks and once he proved by show of hands that the highest grades went to women, he simply repeated a few times until fade out 'Typical".

In a world of equality shouldn't this word never surface when it comes to something as trivial as educating the masses? So I pondered and was a bit angry at the situation. If we constantly observe women as having the higher grades, then couldn't we draw the conclusion that the education system isn't actually oriented to properly educate our males? For years now I've been constantly hearing about research on education, and I fear we'll never change our ways.

Why?

Well, I got to thinking about the origins of school and realized that schools were originaly kicked off the ground by the help of religious groups. And it does make sense to think so, when looking at a church ceremony and school in parallel I realize how twin looking the two are. The most primitive way of teaching masses? Get on top of the mountain and show the people below how things work.

I also have to realize that having drastic changes in the way we educate people will come at a harsh cost and won't be accepted widely. After all, religion still hangs on the rope. It is my belief that the way education is taught today is still too close to our animalistic ways, and since we see ourselves as such powerful and intellectual 'beings' then why not use all this might to create a much better, appropriate and actually beneficial system?

Of course, since I always enjoy pointing out problems and rarely solutions, here's a few things that could help:
- Practice makes perfect: Actual field research.
- Goal oriented classes. This can be seen in primary schools: 1st grade learns how to write, second learns how to write better, third learns mathematics, fourth, etc...
- Classes revolve around the students

All three points could be elaborated upon a lot more.

Still, the problems that can be seen in our system is quite apparent, from the disgusting display of arrogance on the teachers part, to the very narrow minded administrations.

I guess religion isn't dead yet, but I can't wait to slice it's belly open and hang it with it's own intestins!

More Cigarette Issues

I worked in a gas station for two years, where I was able to examine certain behaviors in smokers. I was thinking today how ironic it is that many of the most popular brands in Quebec are the cheapest, worst tasting brands you could possibly get. Not only is it bad enough that the best Canadian cigarettes aren't nearly as good as the best American ones (so I'm told), but a huge majority of people choose to buy the cheapest, dirtiest possible cigarettes they can.

My point is, if you're going to have such a dirty habit, at least take some form of pride in it. Would you not want to kill yourself with a decent tobacco taste in your mouth instead of some ashy chemical crap? I will hypothesize that this is a phenomena that is mainly in Quebec (as that's the market that I know), but I do not presume that it is not the fact elsewhere in Canada. However, I have noticed that here, in Ottawa, people generally smoke the more expensive (good?) brands. It would not surprise me, knowing how "gratteux"/cheap Quebec society tends to be, that it would be the case. If they sold pre-smoked ashes at $2 the pack, and so long as they could smoke it, I'm sure you'd get buyers.

Male Haircuts

I realized today that there is only one type of haircut for men. As I was sitting in class, and looking at the back of people's heads, it struck me. There's no fooling people with the occasional spike in the front or "messy" look, these are all the same cut. Short on the sides and back, with a razor used to make the lines look very straight. The top part is basically just left at only slightly varying lengths, and that's about it. These spikes and crap are completely moot. We all have the same haircut. I guess this is why fuckers with mullets or bald people really stand out in a crowd. How fucking original.

Sleep, Travelling and Education

I must not have gotten more than two hours of sleep last night. I should have gotten about 8, considering the time I went to bed. Instead, I ended up lying there, unable to fall asleep. All I could think about was travelling. It seemed like this was the most unproductive thing I could be doing at the time, but I really was attempting to fall asleep.

I got to thinking how I would leave tomorrow morning and just go driving. I want to drive across the US and back across Canada. It would be a month-long trip in which I would spend my time visiting and travelling at my own pace. I wouldn't sleep in hotels most of the time, but rather I would try and be more self-sufficient and camp in my tent whenever I could. This is a true learning experience, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I think this is the best way of getting to know yourself and society in general. You can relate to others better once you see how they live. I feel like we make no effort to do so, for knowledge or personal enrichment. The media occasionally tries to show what it's like to live a certain lifestyle, but it's not as provocative as actually witnessing it yourself.

School can be so trivial sometimes. With all the ressources that we currently have at our disposal in libraries, online, and our acquaintances' knowledge, school appears to be ever more irrelevant. Many of the things that I'm learning, I could be learning on my own with very little change in the end result. It almost appears that the only role of school is to force you to learn the material through examinations and assignments. This really doesn't seem to me like it's worth as much as they make it out to be. The only thing people like me want in the end is a piece of paper that states we have acquired the knowledge. I couldn't care less about alumni crap and university pride. I don't actually think all my professors are absolute geniuses. In fact, most of them are quite average. The only thing that makes them so special is that they know the subject matter quite well. Short of having that knowledge instantly transferred to me, I don't see how it could be more beneficial to me to listen to a lecture and then be tested on it, as opposed to actually reading up and researching the topic on my own time out of pure interest.

Most of what I have learned in university so far have been nothing more than minor details added on to pre-existing knowledge. Most of these I will never have a use for, and if I do, the Internet has allowed the information the be instantly accessible to me.

Of course, I'm not really speaking for technical programs and math/science-based fields. These certainly require a greater deal of hands-on experience and a much different approach. I would argue, though, that it's only a matter of time before the tools become available to allow people to learn these disciplines on their own. In fact, I think that a lot of it is already possible, it's just a matter of organizing and structuring the information in a better manner.

My criticism, for the moment, is therefore geared towards more abstract and theoretical subject matters like any of the social science or arts disciplines. Is university, in many ways, designed for people who would not ordinarily pursue the material on their own, understanding that they will require some of it in their future career? Is university basically for "lazy" people? Certainly, there is a lot of work to do, but how much of it is truely benefitial and unique to the university experience, in the long run?

My new wave of information

I've been on a mission for a few weeks. I'm trying to spread the word around about vaginal tightness.

Seeing as I enjoy watching people in awkward situations, I thought I'd flip the page on this one. As it seems, this is actually a pretty popular discomfort many women have, yet it isn't spoken about very well. It concerns the tightness of their vaginas. It seems that a good and healthy lifestyle will be assosiated with tighter vaginas, whereas a more lazy and slutty one with a loose one.

So! Now that it's out in the open, I would like to point out as well that there is an operation who's goal it is to tighten the vagina. The procedure is simple, the walls of the vagina are cut on both sides. The cut it then stitched up to tighten the vagina once more. This operation is done to get that virgin feeling back into sex.

Have a go at it, ask around, because there's nothing more entertaining then making women question their appearence. Now if they have to also question how tight they are, and how that can be seen by the opposite sex, I'd love to see how this wave of information can seriously affect a generation.

Back in my day...

Why do people over the age of 40 insist on using, at least once per conversation, the term "back in my day..."? Alright, we get it. Back in "your day", there were no rapes, murders, sexual deviants, mentally disturbed people, alcoholism, drugs, terrorists, robberies, black people, gays, killer diseases, etc. Also, they used to have: responsibilities, enthusiasm, manual labour skills, a head on their shoulders, 10 summer jobs, 10 siblings, 5 penises, a good education system, a good health system, honest politicians, more religious affiliations, proper punishment and control, manners, no "poisonous" television, extracurricular activities, pride, community involvement, the will to live, etc. I'm so fucking sick and tired of hearing all this bullshit.

Listen up, old people. Shut up with your fucking conservative values. Most of what you cite "used to be" actually wasn't as great as you thought it was. Just because you don't understand the world today doesn't mean it was better when you were young. You were naive and innocent, but bad shit still went on. The world probably isn't any better or worse than it used to be, just different. There's a word for it: progression. Stop looking down at us as if we were a bunch of maggots polluting your air. There were just as many problems back when you were young, and you were just either not aware of it because the media wasn't as interconnected and efficient as it is today, or you were a naive kid. Either way, shut the fuck up with all your conservative views. Sure there are things wrong today, but this is how society works. If we want to live collectively, understanding the concept of limited ressources, we can never please everyone and there will always be social problems. If you're not happy, just shoot yourself in the mouth or develop a time machine.

Medical Conversations

Why do some people feel that it's an appropriate and interesting topic of conversation to discuss all the medical problems that they have or that other people have? As I was having supper with my family and grandparents tonight, I was rather disgusted by the fact that half the night's conversation revolved around health issues. So-and-so had their spleen removed, avian flu this and that, this operation and that operation, the state of our hospitals, etc. I really don't understand it. I don't really want to hear what your sister's great nephew's problems are and what are being done to fix it. I don't want to hear about all these operations, deformities, and freak-of-nature problems that people have while I'm eating supper. Since when did this become a conversation topic for a group to participate in?

Even worse is when you're dealing with old people, who have nothing BUT health problems. It almost becomes a sort of competition. "I take more pills each day than you do." "I've been in the hospital more times." "All the other members of my family and their offspring are dead." "My sister has vaginal cancer." Ok ok. I'll concede it. You win the prize. When I get old, to be different, I'll only talk about hookers, beer, and shotguns.

Social Aspects of Coffee

I feel that it's time to elaborate and vent on a topic that I quickly mentionned in my last post. I love coffee (and caffeine in general, for that matter). However, I seem to have a problem with those who put sugar in their coffee. To me, this was something I did when I first began to drink it, several years ago, and before I had properly acquired and developped a taste for it. It's interesting to me that some people continue to put pounds of sugar in their coffee after years of drinking it.

This tells me a few things about coffee drinkers, and I think there are two general categories.

1) There are those who genuinely enjoy the taste of coffee much like some enjoy the taste of a good beer or wine. These people will, after a certain period of time, be able to tell a good cup of coffee from a bad one, and also even the differences in taste and texture.

2) There are those who drink coffee either because they want/need the caffeine, and this is the best way to get it. The majority of these people actually don't like the taste of coffee, and drown it with 3 creams and 6 sugars. Some of those in this category also do it to fit into a certain social norm. There is a correlation between coffee and cigarettes, and those who smoke appear to be influenced either by personality type and pre-disposition, or by conformity to many other smokers who link the two habits together. I see this all the time as I walk by the hundreds of civil servants enjoying their cigarette break while sipping a Tim Hortons coffee.

I would hesitate to add a third group, but it's a class of people I don't even understand. It is the class of people who add 10 sugars in their coffee. Listen, fuckers, why don't you just stick to goddamn chocolate milk? I believe most of you hate the taste of coffee, but are socially inept and uncomfortable, so you try and use coffee as a tool. It is comfortable to fit in to a social situation if you are drinking a coffee. The caffeine will probably make you more at ease, and the fact that you have something to do with your hands makes you feel less "naked". Cigarette smokers probably exhibit similar phenomena. Coffee drinking is also perceived as being an "adult" thing to do, for whatever reason. Much like alcohol, it's seen as a right of passage. I figure people who try very hard to grow up will try very hard to drink coffee (complete with 10 coffees). Probably, too, these people are subconsciously attempting to show people a grown-up image, even though they're still kids inside.

Smoker's paradise

Alright, this is posted after having done minimal research on the subject. All further 'facts' are based on my observations only.

It seems to me like I barely have any cigarette-smoking friends. Whatever friends I have that smoke, are all tied together. I've been making a few observations that I believe are note worthy.

I'm fascinated by the psychology behind smoking. I have a theory that people who smoke can suffer from several mental illnesses. They probably isolate themselves quite a bit and must have problems with concentration. I say this because I often observe that when 2 smokers speak, the one who listens and doesn't lead the conversation is smoking. It also seems that the conversations are less progressive because one does the talking, and the other does the listening. They aren't building off each other.

Also, I believe a lot of smokers take some sub-conscious satisfaction in smoking. They get that feeling that this is an activity they chose to do, almost like a hobby. It is also a self-destructive hobby so they must have problems with depression or views of themselves.

So it is my belief that no good can come of such a dirty hobby.

Religious People

I don't like religious fanatics. I don't like people who seem to be so completely influenced by it in every move that they make. I don't like people who push this on other people. As an example, when I'm invited as a guest in someone else's home, it seems a little strange that we would be forced to join in a prayer before supper. Since this is Thanksgiving, as well, it seems very eager to force everyone to awkwardly state what they are thankful for this year. While I concede that when you are a guest in someone else's house, you have to play by their rules. However, it seems to me a given that you don't push such cult rituals on them assuming they are all religious (and of course, of the same religion). It seems odd to me that you would force people into an awkward position such as saying what you're thankful for. Next time, when we have guests over at my house, I guess I'll just have to have them partake in the bible defecation and infant blood-sucking rituals we do before each meal.

While I'm on the topic of religious conservative values, let me rant a bit more. It always amazes me how these families have managed to make certain things taboo and for "adults only". Excuse me, I'm a fucking adult. It would be nice if I was offered a glass of wine with my turkey like everyone else. I was actually given (not even offered/asked) sparkling apple juice (which I was told, incidentally, came from IKEA). How fucking great. Also, when everyone else was offered coffee after the meal, they just kind of skipped over the "kids". I also recall that the only time I was ever offered alcohol there was at New Year's, when I was permitted to have a single glass of champagne. Fucking great... Even worse, these bible-fuckers all put sugar in their coffee, but that's another story.

Unidentifiable foods and display

This little anecdote happened just a few minutes ago.
My mom walks into my room, holding what looks like birdfood in her hand. Basically, I can't identify a single part of what she's holding up. Her hand is covered in oils and lord knows what else and there she is holding this ball of...things. I thought I identified weat in there, apperently they were crackers. She asks me to take a bite out of it.
Naturally I declined. The argument went on for about 10 minutes until she finaly caved in and went away. I also learned that what she was holding in her hand was the combination of 3 different meats, crackers and other 'materials'. It also happens that it wasn't bird food, but human digestible food.

So I have to ask, if she had brought me this on a plate, would I have been more inclined to take a bite out of it? Probably, the issue remains I still can't identify a single part of what she was holding up and that can't be good.

Would McDonald's burgers be better if only they brought it to us on a plate? What if more 'foreign' food were identifyable by look. It seems the Americans like it simple, they love to know what they're eating. It often lacks of imaginative display.

Skunks and Circus Acts

I had one of the most fucked up dreams of my life this morning, and I feel that I need to share it, or at least write it down in a proper format so that I can remember this down the road. I didn't sleep well last night, so I took a 2hr nap between classes this morning. The phone woke me up from this dream, but I absolutely had to write it down.

I'm not entirely sure where it begins, as it is somewhat vague and abstract, but I can gather that it was either a weird high school here in Ottawa with some familiar faces, or a summer camp of some kind. It essentially starts with a bunch of kids gathered near a stage, in the forest. The Scalzo twins get up on stage in metallic bikinis and perform a circus act involving hoola hoops and other oddities. For some reason, I happen to notice, as I'm walking away, that everyone there has the exact same shoes that I do (Montrails). I ask someone about it, and they tell me that they're the best shoes, etc. We end up discussing the merits of the shoes for a while.

I walk away into a hilly area. For some reason, I am now crawling on the ground, and I spot a skunk, only feet away from me. It walks closer. Not sure why, but I'm unable to get away or really do anythingm, as I'm still crawling. I lay still for a moment, trying to think of what to do. As I try to crawl away, the skunk goes crazy and starts spraying in every direction. Its hair stands on end and it begins to bark at me while it's frantically spasming erradically all over the place.

Then, I wake up in a room which is not unlike where I'm currently staying. It looks like some type of hotel room, but the configuration is quite different, and it's also much larger. My first reaction is that I don't smell any skunk odor. Then, I think that I might have been date raped and brought to this place after I fell unconscious from the skunk attack.

I slowly get up and examine my surroundings. I notice that on all the tables, there are dozens of pairs of Montrail shoes like mine and an Osprey backpack (which could have been mine?? Not sure). I proceed to walk over to a door and open it. Inside, it appeared to be kind of like a cold room for wine storage, with only a cement floor and a small drain in the middle. I curiously flip the light switch, and it was the fluorescent squiggly type bulb that is found in many hotels nowadays. I was quite interested in the delay before it actually turns on, and also the subtle noise that it makes. I played with the light switch for a few minutes, turning it on and off at different intervals. Then, as I flip it on, all I hear is a loud mechanical noise from the ceiling and the sound of a man screaming, also coming from the ceiling. The light no longer wants to turn on.

Thinking this is rather curious, I decide to investigate. I hear what I think is some sort of alarm, but I'm not sure. Then, I walk outside into the hall and note that the room number I'm in is 1156 (my current room is 2211). The hallway seems to be very different. It's much longer, for one, almost infinite. Secondly, the color scheme is much darker (crimson reds and emerald greens). There are about 20 cleaning ladies in the hall, all vaccuming, and all of them are staring at me. I look for a while, and then get freaked out and decide to go back in my room.

As I walk back inside, I open another door and see a man who is adjusting his tie. He grins awkwardly at me.

Then the phone rings, and I wake up. Weird.

Greeting Cards Should Be Illegal

The whole concept of a greeting card seems to me absolutely ridiculous. I have many issues with this. First of all, they are generally extremely expensive. Even the most basic card will set you back almost $5, for essentially laminated recycled paper.

Second, I don't know about you, but it seems to me that greeting cards are not very appealing at all. People are more interested in the gift than some lame card that was attached to it. I believe it's actually our subconscious way of saying "it's not the gift that counts, it's also the thought behind it!". These are really lame Christian values and those who think this should be shot. I will throw out the card two seconds after I receive it. The gift, providing I like it, will be kept for a long time. If you mean well but give me grape juice for my birthday, I'm still going to punch you in the cunt. Also, nobody is interested in some pre-defined comments written by some guy who works for Hallmark and pumps about 5000 of these one-liners out a year. The fact that you sign your name or add a repetitive comment doesn't "personalize" it, no matter what you think.

Third, I hate being forced to give greeting cards to people, or even just signing my name onto a collective card from my family to someone. It seems to me like the most awkward thing. Generally, I can never think what to say. I don't have anything to say to these people, so I end up signing my name. This somehow makes it seem inadequate most of the time, as everyone else has added some lame comment. The most clever thing I can come up with is usually "Happy Birthday!" or "Have a great year!" or "Enjoy your health, while it lasts!". What I'm really thinking, though, is "Another year, eh? I'm surprised you lasted this long, fucker. My plots have failed miserably!".

Finally, it seems like some people actually enjoy greeting cards or the thought behind it, which really freaks me out. Ever go to someone's house and they have about a row of 20 greeting cards stashed away on top of some armoire in a corner? That's fucking freaky. Yeah, we know, you have friends... Hallmark really nailed it this year!

Phone Voices

I don't understand why some people do this, but it appears that some believe it's necessary to speak differently on the telephone. Let me explain. Some people (case in point, my mom), use a completely different tone, intonation, and expression of emotion on the telephone. I have no idea why someone would be compelled to do such a thing. If you're in a shitty mood and have sounded monotone all day, why do you want to sound all giggly and happy to someone on the phone? Does it matter? I'd be interested in hearing theories about this phenomena and if anybody else has encountered this before (or actually does this).

Just Because You're Handicapped...

Just because you're physically handicapped, doesn't mean you can be a dumb bitch. This lady in a wheelchair blocked the entrance to the elevator area for a good 20 minutes, forcing everyone to sort of squeeze by, myself included (with about 15 grocery bags). Of course, everyone pities the handicapped so damn much that nobody bothered to ask her to move, and nobody just pushed the chair aside. Neither would have done any damage. But, you know, she's crippled... Be a little sensitive!

Another female contradiction

My philosophy teacher actually brought up an interesting point.

Seeing as the women shown in magazines, adds and other such commercial things don't look like natural women, it is her opinion that women therefore believe that to be a successful woman, you can't look like one. It is often said that models have a hard time having children sometimes, because of their shape. Also, it is known that some of these models were born with both sexes and have bodies shaped in that fashion.

My teacher also added that this whole look came out of the feminist movement. It's an interesting thing to say, because if feminists were fighting for women rights, they sure as hell weren't fighting for women's looks.

Skull shape and natural child birth

Ok, so here's my question: Does natural Childbirth affect the shape of a skull?

I ask this question, of course, because of an obseravation I've been making.
This girl named Steph that I met last night had a funny face, something about her puzzled me. Now that I think I've put my finger on it, I'll share it with the rest of you:
I believe she was born, out of her mother's vagina, sideways. It appears as though her head slowly squished it's way out of the vagina, and the more out she went, the more the vagina got loose. Simply put, her head is oval shaped, but squished on the side and her body becomes bigger as you look down.

I'm 100% sure, she was shaped after her mom's vagina and had a tight fit out of there!

Laughing Matter

It has occurred to me that a person's laugh is an important factor in a friendship or the formation of one. If, for example, someone has a laugh that does not complement your own, it's very possible to be thrown off by it or even weirded out. If a person laughs too loudly, too often, not enough, or too abruptly, these are all factors that can throw us off.

Another interesting aspect of laughing is the mimicking aspect of it. It seems that the longer we're around people, the more we form a type of common laughter. It could possibly be as a way of showing a sense of ease between two individuals or it's more an indication of a common bond to make both people feel more comfortable. Whatever it is, it appears to be a natural process which most people adapt to. Certainly there are small differences in the way and the frequency in which people will laugh depending on the individual(s) surrounding them.

While I haven't actually tested this out, I think that people with a very weird, unique laugh either have a very easy time making friends, or a very tough time. The uniqueness of the laughter can also attract people, but I think that, in the end, it doesn't allow a very tight bond to be formed and there's still a bit of unease.

Sleeping and Time Conflicts

I should be sleeping right now, but I'm not. Instead, I feel like I have about a million more productive things to do. I'm behind with my readings for most of my courses, and keep pushing it back, there's a lot of projects that I have in mind, and also I feel I haven't had enough time for some of my usual hobbies as I have in the past. There's also about 10 books I currently want to read for pleasure. Sleeping is the absolute last thing on my mind. I can never stand actually going to sleep because I feel as though I'm being unproductive in doing so. I'm losing precious time to do other things. There are never enough hours in a day. However, I of course regret whenever I don't get enough sleep, but never seem to learn. I've been taking more afternoon naps than I would care to (sometimes up to 4hr "naps"). At the same time, I feel this is unproductive, but I never quite am able to pull myself away from what I'm doing and go to bed. Having said that, once I'm in bed, I love it, and in the morning, I never want to get up. Go figure.

Contradictions in Public Speaking

The whole point of having somebody up front speaking direcly to the audience, gracing them with his presence is to be able to get some charismatic performance and the presence plays a huge role. The issue is when these are taped, especially when these taped performences are then used to teach students how to make a good speach.

These recordings defy the purpose completely, not only do they take away all charisma, they take away good audio and the horrible audio quality renders the speach monotone, no matter what.

This is what my public speaking class is, and that's all it'll ever be. We have three seperate teachers...teaching at the same time, trying to teach us how to converse in front of the glass on our own. Well, what the fuck is that? Is it THAT hard to teach public speaking? Wonderful inverstement of tax payer's money.

Identity crisis

Imagine, fighting for years to have women oppression removed from society, only to fall back into it. Classic example, poor family works hard during the 40s to achieve a decent status. Second generation struggles to the 70s and finally get women rights to seriously get going. They eventually move to the West-Island of Montreal, where they've reached a middle class status and have managed to balance career and a family, suprisingly quite horribly. Turns out, the new generation is filled with weak women who seek no independence, and nothing but guidance. Pampered cunts who desire nothing in life then to be grabbed by the hand and shown the way.

This generation is filled with holes and is tainted by the same ridiculous ignorance of it's ancestors and this phenomena that is taking place in women isn't only affecting that gender, it's affecting both.
How many times did I have to hear this line:
"I use to have an ex that ____"

This is a girl's way of telling me:
"I've got no hobbies, but I use to have a guy that had some. You see...I'm a hole...a simple...dumb...walking...hole where men can put their penises into and I pretend to enjoy it. I have no function, no interests or any future whatsoever except the one that a man will provide for me."

So women like to label themselves by the guys they're with? How pathetic. You women are fucking pathetic.

Can't wait to see the Independent Women make a return...hope this is a problem only in this generation. Not only will I have hot independent women, but they'll be quite young. Hurray for pedophilia!

A Problem With Birthdays

While I love getting free loot on an extra day each year, I've never quite understood the actual purpose of celebrating a birthday. Essentially, we're celebrating that a person has lived a year longer. It's a bit like saying: "Congratulations, Ron, we're surprised you made it this far. I would have figured prostate cancer or something. Let's go get some strippers!". It's just an excuse to get piss drunk once a year and be able to justify it as a rational decision. "Well, I puked on your couch, but it was my birthday, so I hope all is forgiven."

There's also the fact that people feel like they're owed everything in the world on their birthdays and that they should sit on their asses doing nothing productive simply because they got ejected from their mother's cunt on this day years ago.