Sweatpants

I have nothing better to talk about tonight, so I'll vent about my long-term frustration and annoyance with sweatpants (sorry). As a child, I must have been raped by a pair of sweatpants or something. I have this horrible aversion to them and anyone who wears them. Personally, I haven't worn sweatpants since kindergarten, I think, and you shouldn't wear them either. It's quite difficult to pinpoint, but here are a few problems I have with the garment.

First of all, I think sweatpants demonstrate the least class of all garments. They tend to look dirty all the time. They're baggy and so you're floating around in them. I always get this image of people working out with these things on. To me, sweatpants just show a person who doesn't care about their appearance too much. It's like a Saturday around-the-house type of garment at the very best.

Secondly, sweatpants are for people on welfare. They don't show any type of physique whatsoever and it looks like you're just draping your bottom with a roll of fabric. Also, I somehow associate sweatpants with bargain-basement used garment sales or something of the sort. You know, the kinds you find with the ironed-on logo of some shitty football team that has been washed so many times that it's peeling off. Some guy probably was going commando in those sweatpants and whacked off in there.

Finally, sweatpants look even worse on guys than girls. I've seen them look on on a girl in the right, rare circumstance. However, on guys, you look like a fucking homo. I had a neighbour in Montreal who also went to the same CEGEP and he as this typical greaseball Italian who hung out with typical boring West Island-type girls. He drove an Integra with an oversized muffler, probably just so I could hear him driving down my street at 3am. Now, on top of this, the guy would wear sweatpants all the fucking time! I would just look at this slob and be absolutely disgusted. To me, sweatpants belong in a really nasty gay porn flick with these dirty bald guys with moustaches licking each other's sweaty ballsacks. Sweatpants are that bad and, if you wear them, you might turn into those guys.